With International Friendship Day on 30th July 2025, it’s important to think about how you can be your own friend. Imagine your best friend came to you feeling like a failure after making a mistake. Would you roll your eyes and say, “You always mess things up”? Probably not. You’d offer understanding, remind them of their strengths, and maybe even crack a smile to lift their spirits. But when you make a mistake, does that kindness go out the window?
That harsh inner monologue—that’s your inner critic speaking. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) offers a powerful lens to challenge and reframe those thoughts so you can treat yourself with the same warmth and understanding you give others.
The Inner Critic: Where It Comes From
Our inner critic is shaped by early life experiences, societal standards, and the belief that being tough on ourselves is the only way to stay motivated or improve. But research consistently shows that self-compassion, not self-criticism, leads to better emotional resilience, motivation, and wellbeing.
CBT helps us notice our thoughts, challenge the unhelpful ones, and replace them with more balanced, constructive alternatives.
Would You Say That to a Friend?
One of my favourite CBT techniques is asking: “Would I say this to someone I care about?”
For example, imagine thinking:
“I completely blew that presentation. I’m useless.”
Pause. Now reframe that as if you’re speaking to a friend:
“You were nervous, and that’s okay. It didn’t go perfectly, but you prepared hard and showed courage. You’ll learn from it.”
That shift isn’t about pretending everything’s fine—it’s about creating realistic, supportive thoughts rooted in facts, not fear.
Try This CBT Exercise: The Compassionate Voice
Write down a recent situation where you were self-critical.
Capture the critical thought. (“I’m not good enough.”)
Ask: Would I say this to a friend? If not, what would you say?
Write a compassionate response. (“It’s okay to make mistakes. Everyone has off days.”)
Repeat this often, and you’ll start developing a more balanced inner dialogue.
Being Your Own Friend Isn’t Indulgent—It’s Foundational
Self-compassion doesn’t mean letting yourself off the hook; it means creating a mindset where growth is possible without shame. If CBT teaches us one thing, it’s this: Your thoughts are not facts. You get to examine them, challenge them, and choose what to believe.
So next time that inner critic pipes up, ask yourself: If someone I loved were in my shoes, what would I say to them?
Modern life has a way of stretching us in every direction, with emails pinging, laundry piling up, and children needing you one moment and fiercely independent the next. It’s no wonder so many parents find themselves teetering on the edge of burnout, trying to be everything to everyone.
At Wellbeing Therapy Solutions, we work with many clients who are navigating the complex intersection of work, parenting, and personal wellbeing. As Occupational Therapists, we believe that finding occupational balance (a healthy mix of activities that nourish your productivity, self care, rest, and leisure) is not only possible, but essential.
What Is Occupational Balance?
Occupational balance means finding a rhythm in your day-to-day life where no single area takes over everything else. It’s about balancing your roles as parent, professional, partner, friend, and individual. Not every day will be balanced, but over time, we aim for a life that feels sustainable and aligned with your values.
Be Kind to Yourself
Let’s say it outright: You’re doing better than you think. Too often, we hold ourselves to impossible standards. ‘Pinterest-perfect parenting’, perfectionism at work and homemade dinners every night. The truth is, nobody can do it all, all the time. Some days will be triumphs. Others will be survival mode – and both are okay.
We encourage our clients to practice self-compassion: acknowledge the effort you’re putting in, even when outcomes don’t look perfect. Replace guilt with grace.
Strategies for Sustainable Balance
Here are a few OT-informed strategies that can help when life feels overwhelming:
Prioritise what matters today: Not every task is urgent. Ask yourself: What really needs to happen, and what can wait?
Create visible routines: Whether it’s using a family whiteboard or shared digital calendar, keeping things out of your head and in view reduces mental load.
Build in mini-moments of rest: Five minutes of deep breathing in the car, dancing in the kitchen, or reading a page of a book can recharge more than you think.
Outsource what you can: If you have the means, asking for help – cleaners, childcare, meal boxes, It isn’t lazy, it’s strategic!
Connect with your ‘why’: Reground yourself in your values. Knowing what’s most important helps you let go of what isn’t.
Your Best Is Enough
One of the most powerful shifts we see in our clients is when they redefine what “good enough” looks like. It’s not mediocrity – it’s healthy, intentional living. It’s recognising that a connected conversation with your child matters more than a spotless floor. It’s knowing that rest today means resilience tomorrow.
You are allowed to be a work-in-progress. That’s what balance really is – a fluid, evolving journey.
If you’d like support navigating your own version of balance, our occupational therapists are here to help. Because thriving in work and parenting isn’t about doing more – it’s about doing what matters, in a way that’s sustainable for you.
Summer holidays are a time for fun, sunshine, rest, and making memories but it can definitely be a challenge keeping kids entertained for weeks – especially on a tight budget. The good news is that you don’t need to spend a fortune to have a summer full of laughter and adventure. Here are a few low-cost (or no-cost) activity ideas to keep the kids busy and happy all summer long!
DIY Garden Fun Turn your garden into a mini adventure zone with water balloon games, homemade obstacle courses, scavenger hunts, or even a night camping under the stars in the garden with sleeping bags
Get Creative Stock up on supplies like paper, glue, and recycled materials for kids to make their own puppets, paint rocks, or even create greeting cards for family and friends
Explore Nature Take advantage of nearby trails or nature reserves and make a checklist of things to find such as feathers, flowers, leaves or interesting shaped rocks to look out for. There could even be a prize for who finds the most!
Movie Days Have an at home movie day where you choose a film, buy all your favourite snacks and curl up on the sofa together as a family. Go one step further and spend time making homemade cinema tickets or film posters
Local Library Adventures Most libraries run free summer reading programs, craft days, or storytelling sessions. It’s also worth checking any local facebook pages for other events happening near you!
While days out and going on trips can be great fun, the summer holidays don’t have to be expensive and with a little imagination anything can be turned into a fun adventure!
For generations, we’ve been taught a particular story about what it means to be strong. It’s a story that tells us to “hold it together,” “keep a stiff upper lip,” “don’t cry,” and “just get on with it.” Emotional strength, we’re told, looks like stoicism, silence, and the ability to carry on without complaint.
But what if we’ve got it all wrong?
At Wellbeing Therapy Solutions, we believe it’s time to change the narrative.
Suppressing emotions doesn’t make them disappear — it simply buries them deeper, where they can quietly influence our thoughts, relationships, and physical health. It’s a coping mechanism that can eventually lead to burnout, disconnection, anxiety, and depression.
The truth is, there is no shame in feeling deeply. Emotions are not a weakness — they’re a sign that we’re human, that we care, that something matters. And acknowledging them is one of the bravest things we can do.
True emotional strength means facing what’s going on beneath the surface. It’s having the courage to ask yourself: “What am I really feeling?” “Where is this emotion coming from?” “What do I need right now?”
It’s being honest with yourself and others. It’s learning to regulate those emotions, not by suppressing them, but by understanding and processing them in healthy ways. And sometimes, it’s recognising that you can’t do it alone and that’s okay.
Seeking Support Is a Sign of Strength, Not Weakness
Reaching out for help takes courage. Whether that means talking to a friend, opening up to your partner, or accessing therapy, it’s a powerful act of self-care and strength. Therapy provides a safe, supportive space to explore your emotions, uncover patterns, and find ways to cope that actually serve you.
At Wellbeing Therapy Solutions, we’re here to walk beside you. Whether you’re navigating stress, anxiety, low mood, relationship challenges or just feeling stuck — you don’t have to do it alone. Our team of experienced therapists offers compassionate, non-judgemental support to help you better understand yourself, build emotional resilience, and move forward with confidence.
Let’s start telling a new story one where emotional honesty is honoured, where seeking support is celebrated, and where strength looks like self-awareness, connection, and growth.
If you’re ready to begin that journey, we’re here when you are.
👉 Reach out to us at Wellbeing Therapy Solutions, because your wellbeing matters, and strength starts with showing up for yourself.
How EMDR Can Help with Little “t” and Big “T” Trauma
Trauma is different for everyone, but it can have a big impact on how we feel, connect with others, and go about our daily lives. When people think about trauma, they often imagine huge, life-altering events—things like natural disasters, abuse, or war. But there’s another kind of trauma that’s quieter yet still powerful. Therapists often call them “little t” trauma and “big T” trauma. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a powerful tool and proven to be super effective therapy method for dealing with both kinds and I use it to help individuals overcome the grip of trauma.
By guiding clients through structured sessions that engage both memory and bilateral stimulation, EMDR allows the brain to reprocess distressing experiences in a safe and supportive environment. This transformative approach not only reduces the emotional weight of past events but also fosters resilience and healing, unlocking a pathway to a brighter, more empowered future.
So, let’s dive into what these types of trauma are and how EMDR can make a difference.
What’s the Difference Between “Little t” and “Big T” Trauma?
Before we get into how EMDR works, it’s good to understand what “little t” and “big T” trauma mean. Both can leave a mark on someone’s life, but they’re different in how they show up.
“Big T” Trauma
“Big T” trauma happens when someone goes through a major, scary event that threatens their safety or wellbeing. These are the moments that leave people shaken to their core. Examples include:
Surviving a car crash
Being physically or sexually assaulted
Witnessing or experiencing combat in the military
Going through a natural disaster like a hurricane or earthquake
Difficult birth
People who go through these events might develop PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder), which can show up as flashbacks, feeling constantly on edge, or shutting down emotionally. The good news? EMDR is a powerful tool that can help people work through these intense experiences.
“Little t” Trauma
On the flip side, “little t” trauma is made up of smaller, everyday events that might not seem like a big deal to others but still hurt deeply. These experiences can add up over time and include things like:
Growing up with constant criticism or feeling neglected
Being bullied at school or work
Dealing with a tough breakup or divorce
Feeling like a failure or not good enough
These might not lead to PTSD, but they can still cause anxiety, sadness, and a shaky sense of self. Since “little t” trauma often comes from relationships, it can really affect how people see themselves and interact with others.
Why Is EMDR So Useful for Both Kinds of Trauma?
What’s great about EMDR is that it works whether your trauma is a huge, life-changing event or a series of smaller hurts. Here’s how it helps:
For “Big T” Trauma
Dealing with “big T” trauma can feel overwhelming, so EMDR takes things step by step. For instance, someone who survived a terrifying car accident might start by tackling smaller pieces of what happened. Over time, EMDR helps them feel safe and in control again.
For those who’ve lived through something like a natural disaster, the memories might come back in flashes, making it hard to move forward. EMDR helps tone down the emotional intensity, letting them process what happened without reliving it constantly.
For “Little t” Trauma
Even though “little t” trauma might not seem as big, it can stick with you in sneaky ways. For example, growing up with constant criticism might leave someone believing they’re not good enough. EMDR helps reframe those old beliefs into something kinder and more confident.
Or, a person who faced bullying might feel stuck in patterns of mistrust or self-doubt. EMDR can help break those patterns, making way for healthier relationships and self-esteem.
Wrapping It Up
EMDR is a game-changer for tackling trauma, whether it’s the big, life-altering kind or the quieter, everyday struggles that still leave a mark. By helping people reprocess tough memories, EMDR makes it possible to move forward with renewed strength and confidence. If you or someone you know is wrestling with the effects of trauma, EMDR might just be the tool to help turn the page and start a new chapter of healing.
Ever felt stuck in a loop of negative thinking and unhelpful behaviours? Behavioural experiments, a core component of cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), might be the key to breaking free and embracing positive change. Let’s explore how these experiments work and how they can promote meaningful transformation.
What are Behavioural Experiments?
Behavioural experiments are practical exercises designed to test and challenge negative beliefs and assumptions. They are like mini scientific experiments but applied to your thoughts and behaviours. The goal is to gather evidence that either supports or refutes your beliefs, helping you develop a more balanced and realistic perspective.
How Behavioural Experiments Work
1. Identifying Negative Beliefs
The first step is to pinpoint the negative beliefs that are holding you back. These might include thoughts like “I can’t do anything right” or “People will judge me if I speak up.” By identifying these beliefs, you and your therapist can design experiments to test their validity.
2. Designing the Experiment
Next, you and your therapist will plan a behavioural experiment to test the identified belief. This involves predicting what you think will happen and then carrying out an action to see if your prediction is accurate. For example, if you believe you’ll embarrass yourself if you speak in public, the experiment might involve giving a short presentation to a small group.
3. Conducting the Experiment
With your experiment planned, it’s time to put it into action. This step can be daunting, but it’s essential for gathering real-world evidence about your beliefs. During the experiment, observe your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours closely.
4. Reviewing the Results
After the experiment, you and your therapist will review the results. Did things turn out as you predicted, or was the outcome different? This reflection helps you see whether your negative beliefs hold true or if they can be challenged and changed.
The Benefits of Behavioural Experiments
1. Breaking Negative Cycles
Behavioural experiments can help break the cycle of negative thinking and unhelpful behaviours. By testing and challenging your beliefs, you can develop new, healthier ways of thinking and acting.
2. Building Confidence
As you successfully complete behavioural experiments, your confidence grows. Seeing that your predictions aren’t always accurate can empower you to tackle new challenges and push beyond your comfort zone.
3. Enhancing Problem-Solving Skills
Behavioural experiments encourage a proactive approach to problem-solving. They help you think critically about your beliefs and find practical ways to test and challenge them.
4. Promoting Lasting Change
The insights gained from behavioural experiments can lead to lasting changes in your thought patterns and behaviours. By continuing to apply these strategies, you can maintain your progress and build a more positive, fulfilling life.
Final Thoughts
Behavioural experiments in CBT are a powerful tool for promoting change and challenging negative beliefs. By approaching your thoughts and behaviours with a scientific mindset, you can gather evidence, build confidence, and foster meaningful transformation. So, if you’re ready to break free from negative cycles and embrace positive change, consider incorporating behavioural experiments into your CBT journey.
Remember, it’s always a good idea to seek out a professional therapist to guide you through the process. They can provide personalized support and help you make the most out of this powerful technique
